She No Longer Exists

an A.D. story

Written By|  Melissa Smith

If you're like me, you have a history to your life. There's a B.C. and an A.D. to your story. There are layers to this life we lead. Seasons that have brought us to where we are now. For me, the layers can be split into two parts: the forgotten past (before Christ) and the love filled present (life with Christ). 

My past and the choices I made almost broke me. Then Jesus and God's grace happened.

For I will be merciful to their wrongdoing, and I will never again remember their sins.
Romans 8:12 HCSB

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12

Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm then and don't submit again to a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus,
for in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Romans 8:1-2

Because of Christ, I became a transformed soul. I died to my old self and she no longer exists. My heart and soul knew this. My mind took a while to catch up to this reality. Shadows from my past were constantly being thrust to the forefront of my mind. I realized that if the God of the universe, in His mercy, didn't remember the old me, then I had nothing to feel ashamed about. The love and acceptance of my Father overshadowed everything else.

Then people happened.

It's always great until other people become involved. Namely people from the past who saw me as who I was because that's all they know. I couldn't really blame them. Transformation begins on the inside and that's not a place anyone but God can see. So these people became the reminders of who I was and the things I did. Regret, shame, condemnation and judgement threaten to overcome what God had done for me. Voices from the outside tried to become louder than the One on the inside. But, I am free. You are free. In Christ you are free from your past mistakes. You are free from who you were or what people think about you or say about you. What matters is how God sees you and He adores you beyond anything you can imagine. His thoughts about you are God sized. That's kinda gigantic.

Freedom from condemnation and judgement and our past labels allows us to see ourselves in the light of Grace and embrace our true identity through Christ. Understanding who we are in Christ allows us to understand His immeasurable love for us. Walking in the reality of His love and in the richness of His grace fills us to overflowing. The only natural direction for this overflow of love to go is out onto other people. The love of Christ that is in you and flows through you allows you to love the people from your past without a second thought. It allows you to love the people who the world looks down on in a genuine and life building manner. You are able to love yourself and others without labels.

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